Thursday, January 14, 2016

IF WE COULD DRAW LOVE By Connie Rodenbeck

This beautiful article has touched my heart and soul more deeply than anything else I've read since losing Kady. I am a very visual person and I saw and felt each image in my heart and soul. I hope these words offer the same comfort and peace that they've given me. The author gave me permission to reprint.


By Connie Rodenbeck

If I asked you to draw a picture of love, how would you start? Would you be traditional and draw a heart? Would you draw a hand, reaching out to touch another? Would you draw the face of the person you have lost? 
We can't draw love. It is not finite. It has no borders. 

If I could not escape the assignment to draw this vital, indescribable, intangible entity called love, I could only do it with colors. I would first paint a bold stroke of blue. Then I would dip my brush in yellow and blend it in. On the other side of the blue I would place a bold stroke of red, then step back to view my creation. The canvas would still show splashes of blue and yellow and red, but look in between! My new rainbow would hold not just three colors. Green and purple would glisten in the center of each combination. 

What does that have to do with love, you ask? It defines it. Where one color touches another, a change occurs. When we take the risk to love and be loved, we are changed. A part of one soul blends with a part of another soul, and they are both eternally different. We are able to take from each other, and in the process, something is created that enriches all who surround us.

This is why we grieve loss. The part of us that changed cannot go back to being just blue or yellow or red. Yet we feel lost and unsupported without that person who contributed to the change. Our world is not the same. Sometimes it feels like someone has turned us into a 200 piece puzzle and filed off the edges of each so that we no longer fit together perfectly.

But love isn't finite. It doesn't change because we can no longer reach over and touch the other person. Loving didn't just overlay one color on another, it blended them. That forever-altered part of each of us holds onto the memories, as well as the strength and growth that came from our relationship. This is what sustains us.

We didn't have to take the risk to love. We could have protected our hearts and stayed blue or yellow or red. But then we would have lost far more than all we grieve for now. We could have avoided the pain, but like country singer Garth Brooks tells us, we would have missed the dance.

As we continue on the journey of moving through grief, take time to celebrate the rainbow that love created in your life. Remember the laughter, joy, struggles and dances that we have had the privilege of sharing. Let that love bear fruit by caring for the others our lives touch. Continue to risk adding colors to the rainbow.

We are the lucky ones. We were blessed to be a part of the lives of these precious people who will dwell in our hearts forever.


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