Thursday, October 15, 2015

Craving My Daughter's Voice

After my Kady died, I began craving the sound of her voice. I felt such desperation for it that I came close to experiencing a panic attack. From the day she was diagnosed, I never allowed a call to go to voice mail. I answered them all and, therefore, had no voicemails from her. After a while it occurred to me that I could look through videos but, honestly, the pain was just too difficult for a long time.

Recently, my husband switched his cell number to another number on our family plan and, to my delight, there were her old voice mails to her former husband. I didn’t care that they weren’t to me. I was getting to hear my Kady’s sweet voice. I listen to those voicemails over and over when I need a breath of Kady and I can’t begin to explain how much joy and comfort they bring to me.

If you are a mom who knows your child will leave this earth before you, I implore you to record your child’s sweet voice. Record everyday conversations, their laughter, the way they greet you, whatever you love to hear now. How I wish I could hear my precious Kady say, “Hi, Mom!”


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